Miss Conduct

Advice: His mother is tagging along on their honeymoon

The husband-to-be doesn’t object. How can a poor bride save her romantic getaway?

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A friend is getting married and honeymooning at a resort. Her future mother-in-law announced that she just booked a family vacation at the same place and time! My friend doesn’t know what to do without hurting someone’s feelings, creating animosity, or causing a problem with her future husband, who does not have an issue with his mother’s choices. She doesn’t want to start the marriage off on the wrong foot, but she wants to have a quiet and private honeymoon.


J.L. / Boston

Welp, too late now! That was one heck of a pushy move on the future mother-in-law’s part. (Note to parents of engaged couples: Never, ever do this.) If the bride-to-be is the only one who objects, though, the realpolitik is that this is not a battle she’s going to win.

It’s still up to her, though, whether she wants to cling to a spoiled honeymoon or enjoy a perfectly pleasant family vacation. She might consider inviting some of her own family along, seeing as how it’s turned into a group thing.

Then she should plan another vacation alone with her husband, and not breathe a word of it to her mother-in-law, now being kept on a strict need-to-know informational diet. Your friend has discovered, in a reasonably painless way that will make a great story years from now, what happens if you give this mouse a cookie. That is valuable intel to have on one’s mother-in-law.

Miss Conduct is Robin Abrahams, a writer with a PhD in psychology.

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