When I posted the quarterback’s photo, I got nasty comments. Do I block these friends?
Get the best of the Magazine’s award-winning stories and features right in your Inbox every Sunday. Sign up here.
I changed my Facebook profile picture to a picture of Colin Kaepernick, and two of my Facebook “friends” left unsolicited negative comments. When did I ask for feedback or soapbox speeches on MY profile pic?! I was taken aback and disappointed. Should I stay quiet and ignore it? Unfriend them? Block them? Critique their profile picture in return?
Anonymous / Boston
Have you been wanting to get rid of these scare-quoted-friends anyway? This would be a good time and excuse to do so. Insulting people’s profile picture is like telling them they dress funny. Nobody welcomes that!
If you do want to keep Statler and/or Waldorf in your feed, delete their comments. Then add a brief comment of your own to the picture, explaining that you are not interested in unsolicited opinions about your choice.
You’re the host of your own page and, like any host, have the right to set house rules. Delete out-of-bounds comments and edit posts to reiterate those rules, which can be as idiosyncratic as you like. No politics, no swearing, no spoilers, no pictures of clowns — you set the limits.
I’ve used the delete-and-review-house-rules technique several times. Bullies, jerks, and those bewitched by their own righteousness will either unfriend you or argue with you, at which point you unfriend them. Offenders who are well meaning but excitable may not apologize for crossing the line, but they will behave themselves in the future. And everyone else learns the rules.
Miss Conduct is Robin Abrahams, a writer with a PhD in psychology.
WHAT WOULD YOU DO . . . ?
I expect younger folks to gladly stand up on the T when someone older comes along.Continue reading »
High-achieving, low-income students, often the first in their families to attend college, struggle to feel they belong on elite campuses.Continue reading »
The city’s soaring real estate costs, plus better schools in the suburbs, make it hard for ordinary folk to stick around.Continue reading »
We tell students they need a bachelor’s degree to get ahead. But for too many, the numbers no longer add up.Continue reading »
How does one approach someone who is blasting his phone for the whole train, wearing a backpack, blocking the doors, or “manspreading?”Continue reading »
Training for races gave us the gift of time, even though they lapped me.Continue reading »
Here’s where to spruce up your wardrobe, get a great haircut, build some muscle, find something inspiring to read, and more.Continue reading »
Each year, Americans toss more than 80 billion single-use cups. But is switching from foam to paper really better for the environment?Continue reading »
For fear of hurting him, I didn’t tell him I’m expecting a baby with my new boyfriend. Should I have?Continue reading »