It’s so cold that . . . we want your jokes
OK, we get it, you’re funnier than we are.
Here at the Globe we were weary of this unrelenting, uncomfortable, even dangerous cold weather. (Not to mention the snowstorm that’s on the way.) We bet that you were, too. So we threw out a few “It’s so cold . . .” jokes and asked you to brainstorm some of your own.
Well, the weather may be cold, but you readers were on fire.
Here’s a (family-friendly) selection of some of the quips you submitted:
It is so cold that . . .
It’s so cold, I ate lunch at McDonald’s just for the heartburn. — Pat L.
It’s so cold that my Uber last night was being pulled by a reindeer with a red nose. — Jeff Medoff
It’s so cold that New Englanders are ordering coffee from Dunkin’ Donuts that’s actually hot. — (Several readers)
It’s so cold that the Hood Milk Bottle has become vanilla ice cream. — Matt Kona
It’s so cold that the Boston Bruins went into hibernation. — Matt Kona
It’s so cold that the Red Line turned blue. — Michael Graca
It’s so cold Amtrak switched from Quiet to Shivering cars. — Bennett Alper
It’s so cold Attorney General Maura Healey has filed a class action suit against a tray of ice cubes. — Bennett Alper
It’s so cold that my Fitbit gave me the day off. — Jeff Medoff
It’s so cold that Duck Boats are driving themselves south for the winter. — Jeff Medoff
It’s so cold our snowman keeps banging on the back door to come into the house. — Peter Campbell
It’s so cold that the yellow lines on our street turned blue. — Richard Terrio
It’s so cold that extra sessions are being planned at the State House so the political hot air can heat the city. — Bob Keyes
It’s so cold that I’ve got a brain freeze just thinking about it. — Carlos Rosales
It’s so cold out I saw a chicken with a cape on. — Several readers (not clear why everyone loves this classic)
It’s so cold Keytar Bear is wearing two suits. — Matthew Breen
It’s so cold Gillette has encouraged everyone to just grow beards. — Matthew Breen
It’s so cold my freezer is jealous. — Heather Whitney
It’s so cold my car pouts when it sees me. — Heather Whitney
It’s so cold a cold shower feels warm. — Heather Whitney
It’s so cold that Grandma’s teeth were chattering in the glass by the bed. — Bonnie Wagner
It’s so cold lawyers/lawmakers have their hands in their own pockets. — Several readers
It’s so cold Boston City Hall looks warm and inviting. — Conor Yunits
It’s so cold that the Canada geese near the Charles River are all wearing Canada Goose jackets. — Matt Kona
It’s so cold that even the T realizes it’s not autumn. — Vincent Lee
It’s so cold that I saw a dog stuck to a fire hydrant. — (Several readers)
It’s so cold that when we talk our words come out as ice cubes — and we have to microwave them just to hear what we said. — Ron Slaby
It’s so cold that Hell is booked solid until April — pete74
It’s so cold that Cryotherapy West Roxbury now offers outdoor seating. — joeleguy
It’s so cold I just sent the best joke but you’ll have to wait three days for it to thaw. — timfromvt