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Inyoung You text to boyfriend: ‘IF YOU EVER LOVED ME STOP’

Prosecutors say Inyoung You (right) encouraged Alexander Urtula’s suicide.

A former Boston College student charged for her alleged role in the suicide of her boyfriend will return soon to the United States to be arraigned and plans to present copies of text messages that indicate she tried to talk him out of harming himself during the last moments of his life, according
to a public relations firm representing her.

Inyoung You, a 21-year-old native of South Korea, was indicted last month by a Suffolk County grand jury on a charge of involuntary manslaughter in the death of Alexander Urtula, who leaped to his death from a parking garage on May 20. An arraignment date has not been announced, according to the Suffolk district attorney’s office, which declined to comment on the text messages.


The messages released to the Globe by Rasky Partners Inc., which represents You, show a series of texts, purportedly between You and Urtula, in which she implores a clearly suicidal Urtula not to hurt himself. The texts could be presented at trial as part of her defense, the firm said. You’s defense team, which did not want to be named, asserted that the texts are authentic.

The messages represent a small fraction of the more than 75,000 texts that the pair exchanged in the two months leading up to Urtula’s death, including hundreds or even thousands in which — prosecutors say — You told Urtula to kill himself.

Suffolk District Attorney Rachael Rollins has described You as an abusive partner who exerted “complete and total control” over Urtula during their 18-month relationship.

“Ms. You was aware of his spiraling depression and suicidal thoughts brought on by her abuse,” Rollins said in a statement after You was indicted in October. “Even still, she continued to encourage Mr. Urtula to take his own life.”


But in the texts provided to the Globe, You seemed to be trying to stop Urtula from harming himself. According to the messages, when You realized what Urtula planned to do, she sent dozens of texts to Urtula, pleading with him to “stop” and “don’t do this.” She also alerted Urtula’s brother, the messages showed.

That morning Urtula’s family was in town from New Jersey to attend his graduation ceremony at BC and see him receive his diploma. But while the rest of his classmates were gathering outside Alumni Stadium in their caps and gowns, Urtula was at the Renaissance parking garage on Columbus Avenue exchanging what would be his last texts with You.

You was initially upset that Urtula had turned the GPS tracking off on his smartphone, and she didn’t know where he was, according to the texts.

“Where the [expletive] are you,” she wrote in a series of expletive-laden messages.

“Who’d you run into or talk to? Whose room did u go to? Hello.”

Urtula replied, “I’m not talking to anyone. I won’t ever again. I’m happy I got to spend my last night with you. I love you inyoung until my last breath.”

“Then WHERE ARE YOU,” she wrote.

You began to chide him for not responding to her questions.


Urtula replied: “I’m not gonna be anywhere inyoung this is goodbye forever. I love you. This isn’t your fault it’s mine.”


“What,” she wrote. “What. UR LEAVING ME”

“I’m far away on a tall place and I’m not gonna be here for long,” Urtula replied. “I’m leaving everyone.”

You began typing in all capital letters and misspelling words.

“ALEX,” she wrote. “WHAT SRE YOU [expletive] DOING. IF U [expletive] LOVE ME STOP. IF U EVER [expletive] LOVED ME STOP.”

“I did love you just not well enough,” Urtula wrote. “Good bye.”

“STOP,” she wrote.

“You’ll have everything once I’m gone,” he replied.

“PLWASE STOp,” she wrote. “Talk to me. STOP. STOP. PLESEE. IM CRYING PLEASE. PICK UP. PLEASE . . . DON’T LEAVE ME LIKE THAT. IF U EVER LOVED ME STOP. IF YOU WANNA SHOW ME U LOVE ME STOP . . . please pick up . . . talk to me please.”

You continued to send a flurry of texts, repeating the word “please” more than 100 times. But it was a one-sided conversation.

At some point, Urtula apparently turned the GPS on his phone on again, which revealed his location.

You used her phone to track Urtula to the Renaissance Parking Garage near the MBTA’s Ruggles Station and then texted Urtula’s brother and let him know where Urtula was, according to the texts.

“Please let me know if you get there first i’m waiting for the uber,” she wrote to Urtula’s brother.

“I’m coming there now,” Urtula’s brother replied.

“Have you been able to talk to him he is not responding at all,” she wrote.

You also continued to send texts to Urtula’s phone. “Please baby,” she wrote. “i love you so much. Please stop please. Please baby please stop i love you.”


You pleaded for him to pick up his phone. She said she was on her way there. She said she loved him. She asked for him to wait for 20 minutes.

“IM BEGGING YOU,” You wrote, in one of her final texts to Urtula. “PLEASE IM ALMOST THERE PLEASE. where are u please please please.”

According to two sources close to You’s family, You took the Uber to the garage to try to stop him, but as soon as he saw her, he jumped.

You, who studied economics at BC, withdrew from the college in August and has been living in South Korea.

The district attorney’s office declined to comment this week on the texts obtained by the Globe but issued a statement.

“This office will not comment further on the investigation at this point, or on the evidence that supported our charging decision,” spokesman Matthew Brelis said in a statement. “More facts and evidence will be made available at the arraignment and throughout the course of the litigation.”

If you need help, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

Emily Sweeney can be reached at Follow her on Twitter @emilysweeney.