Warning: Some of the content in this story is graphic and includes discussion of suicide.
Suffolk District Attorney Rachael Rollins’s office Friday released more text messages between former Boston College students Inyoung You and Alexander R. Urtula, exchanges that prosecutors allege drove Urtula to end his own life.
The couple dated for about 18 months and between March 29 and May 20, the couple exchanged 75,337 texts, 47,130 of which were generated by You, prosecutors allege. They also said the couple FaceTimed each other frequently.
Prosecutors said Urtula and his family drove from New Jersey to the Boston area on May 19 so they could be on hand when he graduated from BC on the morning of May 20. Urtula, whom prosecutors allege was the victim of an abusive relationship, spent the night with You in her BC dorm room in Brighton.
In arguing that You’s actions were criminal and warranted an involuntary manslaughter charge, prosecutors released the following journal entry by Urtula and text messages between the two.
March 26, 2019, Urtula journal entry:
“She attacks my self-worth ... whenever we argue it always reverts back to the past and how I lied and hurt her before and how she doesn’t believe that it won’t happen again. Then I when I agree to end it because she says she’s done with me because I’m a ‘horrible retarded [expletive] up that is just a burden on everyone’s life,’ she in turn threatens to kill herself because of me.’’
March 31, 11:07 p.m., Urtula to You:
“I asked you to stop so many times...you don’t even know what’s going on in my head rn....I really can’t talk to you...I’m breaking down and I’m scared... but if you want to keep [expletive] on me you have every right to...I’m having the worst anxiety attack of my life...all the voices are so [expletive] loud and they all have your voice...the person I love most in the world...they’re all telling me to die...and so did you...I want you and the voices to stop...to stop telling me how worthless and pathetic I am...and how much I deserve to die.”
April 1, 2019. 12:01 a.m., Urtula to You:
“you own me...all of me...only you...you have complete control of me emotionally and physically...and you dictate my happiness...you owning all of me includes everything...what I think, what I feel...you own all of that. All of my history...everything...anything you want I want to give it to you. Your happiness is my only priority.”
April 11, 11:39 p.m., Urtula to You:
“Inyoung please I’ll give you whatever you want...I’ll leave this [expletive] earth just please don’t do anything don’t hurt yourself anymore....so please I’ll get out of your life I’ll go die like you want... I’ll erase myself from this world...It’ll probably be better off and I don’t have anything anymore anyways if I don’t have you...l’ll go die...please I’ll do whatever you want...you own me...I’ll literally do whatever you want....please just don’t [expletive] hurt yourself anymore....Please....I’ll go die for you....whatever will make you happy.”
April 15, 9:29 p.m., You to Urtula:
“YOU’RE GONNA LITERALLY [expletive] SEE ALL OF THEM....A MAIN [GRADUATION] CEREMONY...[expletive] YOU...YOU [expletive] PIECE OF [expletive] GO [expletive] DIE IN HELL YOU DESERVE TO GO [expletive] KILL YOURSELF...THERE’S A MAIN CEREMONY WITH ALL OF YOU AND YOU LIE AND SAY YOU WON’T SEE THEM AT ALL...CAN YOU [expletive] GO KILL YOURSELF LEAVE ME THE [expletive] ALONE AND IF YOU DON’T DIE I’M GONNA [expletive] KILL MYSELF...AND YOU STILL DIDN’T TELL ME ABOUT THE MAIN CEREMONY EVEN AFTER THE SCREENSHOT????????? I LITERALLY [expletive] POINTED IT OUT OH MY GOD...YOU’RE LITERALLY A PIECE OF [expletive] [expletive] YOU LITERALLY SHOULD GO [expletive] DIE . . . HOW [expletive] IDIOTIC YOU ARE LIKE IT BAFFLES ME I HAVE NEVER MET SOMEONEBODY AS [expletive] EMOTIONALLY IDIOTIC AS YOU SO LEAVE ME THE [expletive] ALONE BC IM [expletive] BLOCKING YOU AND GOING TO GO KILL MYSELF.”
April 29, 11:42 a.m., You to Urtula:
“ABUSE U THINK I ABUSE U U WANNA SAY I ABUSE U...UR THAT [expletive] IDIOTIC AND STUPID REALLY ABUSE...OF COURSE YOU’RE A [expletive] VICTIM OF ABUSE...U [expletive] [expletive] ME what’s wrong with you you’re actually that [expletive] worthless you wanna act like a victim and call it abuse is that what u tell your brother? ur friends? Or is that what they’ve told u please I’m curious I’m so intrigued....please tell me how you’re the victim here please enlighten me [expletive] ANSWER U WORTHLESS [expletive] PIECE OF [expletive]”
May 5, 2019, 10:49 a.m., You to Urtula:
“do everyone a favor and go [expletive] kill yourself, you’re such a [expletive] stupid [expletive] worthless [expletive]...dude just [expletive] do everybody a favor and go [expletive] kill yourself honestly. [expletive] WORTHLESS [expletive] [expletive] PIECE OF [expletive] U DESERVE NOTHING IN THE [expletive] WORLD.’’
May 16, 1:28 p.m., You to Urtula:
“All it is gonna take at graduation is for someone to come up to you and pull you aside or come running to you and hugging you and you will just [expletive] do everything again to disrespect me and break your promise [expletive] YOU GO [expletive] KILL YOURSELF AND EVERYONE IN THAT TOXIC GROUP THEY ALL DESERVE TO [expletive] DIE.’’
May 18, 1:25 p.m., You to Urtula:
“u can’t figure it out? u wanna make me livid again? . . . Is that what u want? like why do I have to threaten my own [expletive] life for u to finally do something? did I NOT [expletive] TELL U TO READ [MY TEXT] NOW . . . YOU IDIOTIC WORTHLESS [expletive] [expletive] is that what you want? I have to [expletive] threaten my life for u to listen to me?...you literally end up doing what I [expletive] want at the end of the day so why try to fight me?”
If you need help, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).