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The Boston Globe

Opinion

TOM KEANE

Speaking of which . . .

istockphoto/globe wire services; globe staff illustration

Some random thoughts about last week’s news:

Former Massachusetts Senator John Kerry is traveling nonstop around the world in his new job as secretary of state. It’s hard to tell, though. He seems just as present and connected to the Bay State as he ever was.

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I’m glad those three women in Cleveland were able to escape their captors after 10 years, but think that next time a kidnapping victim calls 911, the operator at the other end shouldn’t say, “We will get someone there as soon as we get a car open.”

By the way, when three girls disappear in quick succession from the same area, it might make sense for police to at least wonder about run-down households occupied by three brothers with bad hair who refuse to answer the door.

And now I guess we all know what happened to “My Three Sons.”

Tamerlan Tsarnaev’s body was finally interred somewhere outside of Massachusetts, but not in Russia. When Soviet premier Nikita Khrushchev said “We will bury you,” it apparently wasn’t a long-term commitment.

Kudos to South Carolina voters for electing Mark Sanford to Congress. With the Jodi Arias trial over, we need new material.

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Analysts say that the problems with the new Windows 8 operating system are so overwhelming that they caused a 14 percent decline in computer sales so far this year. Even so, Microsoft says it’s really pleased with the new software. Kind of like Republicans explaining how happy they were with Mitt Romney’s nomination.

The Cuban government announced a significant donation to the Kennedy Library of thousands of Ernest Hemingway’s letters, telegrams, and other documents. However, access to them is strictly limited to Beyonce and Jay-Z.

State officials have approved new regulations for the sale of medical marijuana. They received over 190 comments on the proposed rules, according to the Department of Public Health. Most of the comments arrived late. Really late.

Chinese officials are upset over a new Pentagon report that directly accuses them of mounting cyberattacks on US military installations and businesses. But there’s an easy solution to that. The Chinese can just change the report.

The Markey-Gomez race is in full swing. AFL-CIO president Steven Tolman says the choice is simple. “One is to be a partner for Elizabeth Warren and another to be a disciple of [Senate Minority Leader] Mitch McConnell.” I have two questions. Does Mr. Warren know? And also, is Jesus worried about the competition?

Speaking of which, Markey has vowed not to allow spending by super PACs in the race but he’s fine with getting money from regular PACs. That’s an important distinction because . . . umm, well. OK, never mind.

For years the Red Sox have told us they couldn’t make their seats wider and more comfortable because they needed all of them to accommodate their fans. I think now they have their chance.

The newest casino plan to be proposed would convert a Holiday Inn in Boxborough into a $200 million gambling parlor. I’m OK with that as long as they keep the pool. And kids stay free.

Police say they couldn’t understand anything Worcester Bishop Robert McManus was saying when they stopped him for suspected drunken driving last week. But it’s possible he was just speaking Latin.

There are 24 people running to be the next mayor of Boston. If you want to know whom to vote for, just ask which has a “Plan B.” That’s the one to pick. The others need a better grip on reality.

Reader’s Digest just came out with its surprise ranking of the top 100 most-trusted people in the United States and Tom Hanks is number one. The surprise isn’t Tom Hanks. It’s Reader’s Digest. Who knew it was still around?

The Dow Jones just hit 15,000, its highest ever, and still recent college graduates are complaining because they don’t have jobs. Didn’t they learn to understand graphs in school? Things are great.

And finally, to all of my friends who were so angry with me because I told them not to buy Apple at $600 and then two months later it was at $700, your apologies (Apple today is around $460) are now accepted.

Tom Keane can be reached at tomkeane@tomkeane.com.

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