From day one, a clear — and unfolding — view of her child’s gender identity

Re “Is gender a matter of biology or a matter of the soul?” by S.I. Rosenbaum (Ideas, July 7): My child is gender nonbinary. When they were born with female anatomy and genes, I thought I had a girl, and raised “her” as such. But as early as they could recognize the color pink — 16 or 17 months old — they refused to wear it. I thought I had a budding women’s libber, but I did marvel at how a toddler could know — or care — about gendered color coding.

It took a long, step-by-step process for them to sort out what identity felt right: Gay? Bisexual? Gay-straight ally? In the 1980s, we didn’t have either the concept or the vocabulary for NB (which I have taken to be short for “neither boy nor girl — I’m a human being, don’t put me in a box”). However, having watched this process unfold from day one, I can inform anyone who wants to know that my child’s gender identity owes nothing to biology. And that they were born that way.


Louise Quigley