Look, we never said it would all be serious journalism.
Bruins captain Zdeno Chara, who created a favorite Halloween image for Bruins fans a few years ago when he dressed up as a 6-foot-9 bunny, posted this to his Instagram page Wednesday night.
Let’s pick a best costume.
There’s a lot going on in this photo, and I am not pop-culture worldly enough to understand all of them, so forgive me. Also, some Bruins may be missing in action, and it’s hard to tell given the size of the photo. It is a great and solemn responsibility to judge Best Costume at the Bruins’ 2019 Halloween party, and even though no one asked me to do it, I will give it my absolute best shot.
Sweeping the field, left to right:
• I think we’ve got Matt Grzelcyk and Connor Clifton as Jack and Brick. Or Brick (Grzelcyk) and Jack (Clifton). Nicely done. Who has more fun than them?
• Danton Heinen (White Goodman) and Charlie Coyle (Steve the Pirate) went as Dodgeball characters, accompanied by Kate Veatch. Heinen has the Ben Stiller scowl down pat. He could have gone as Derek Zoolander.
• Brad Marchand and wife Katrina Sloane went as Eleven (him) and Dustin from Stranger Things. Great energy from this pair. That’s gonna be tough to beat.
• Way in the back, behind Chris Wagner
(a football coach?Remember the Titans), is that David Pastrnak in the makeup and hat? What is going on with his costume? He should be in the front of the photo. We need to see.
• Tuukka Rask and partner Jasmiina Nikkila: Wonder Woman (him) and Catwoman. Rask has been wearing the same mask his whole career; I applaud him for thinking differently here.
• David Krejci and his wife Naomi: hard to tell from the photo. A jellyfish (her) and a banana (him)? This might be a genius idea, and the photo isn’t doing it justice.
• Behind them, looks like Kevan Miller and his wife Haley seem to have gone as Gene and Ace from Kiss, tongues out and ready to rock and roll all night. (Updated: This reporter has confirmed they were actually dressed as members of Motley Crüe.)
• Have no idea about the two characters behind the Millers in the back, with dark masks. Is Joakim Nordstrom back there?
• Steve Kampfer and wife Tara look like a waffle (him) and syrup (her). That’s wholesome.
• Charlie McAvoy is one of two Jokers, the other one way in the back, behind David and Kelly Backes, who went as Harry and Lloyd from Dumb and Dumber. I don’t know the other Joker. Par Lindholm? Anders Bjork?
• Looks to me like Brandon Carlo and his date went as Peter Pan and Tinkerbell. I can’t determine who’s in the dark wigs next to him -- is it John Moore and his wife Elizabeth?
• Hard to tell if that’s an Undertaker costume Brett Ritchie is wearing. He’s got on a black top hat, white face paint and dark eyeliner. Either way, it’s intimidating.
• Up front, we have Karson Kuhlman and his date as mobsters of some kind … and that looks like Chara himself to the right, seemingly dressed as a giant housefly. There’s an Ariel to the far right of the photo.
• And finally, our winner of Best Bruins Halloween costume 2019: narrowly edging out his linemate, Marchand, congrats to Patrice Bergeron and wife Stephanie, as Wayne and Garth from Wayne’s World. A Canadian classic, and his hand gesture and her drumsticks are leaning just enough into the characters without overdoing it. Party on.
Follow Matt Porter on Twitter at @mattyports