It doesn’t matter if you still keep a Tom Brady Patriots poster in your bedroom or burnt it when he signed with Tampa Bay. We know you can’t take your eyes and ears off every pass our Tommy throws, every stretchy band he sells, every word he utters.
We get it — we really do — we want to help make your Super Bowl experience this year slightly easier to endure. Because we know Sunday is going to be tough.
You don’t (or better not) have a Super Bowl party to go to. We see you, sitting on your sofa, a bucket of wings on your lap, working yourself into a lather at each sight of Brady in another team’s uniform for the first time after nine Super Bowl visits with the Pats.
So as long as you’re going to obsess over Brady, why not make it worth your while?
Keep this list of 30 Tom Brady yes-no prop bets — half game-related, the other half definitely not — nearby and see (for entertainment purposes only, of course) how well you and friends on your text chain really know Tom Terrific.
- Will Brady be the only player to run out onto the field for warmups without his helmet on?
- Will Brady rush for more than 3 yards in the game?
- Will Brady make any Patriots references in accepting his MVP trophy?
- Will Brady score a touchdown in the game?
- Will the broadcasters mention Bill Belichick’s name more than 3 times?
- Will Brady lead the Bucs in a game-winning fourth quarter rally?
- Will Brady throw his tablet in disgust?
- Will Brady throw a TD in the first quarter of a Super Bowl for the first time?
- Will the broadcasters mention Robert Kraft’s name?
- Will Brady throw a touchdown pass before Patrick Mahomes?
- Will the broadcasters make “GOAT” references about Brady more than four times?
- Will Brady target Rob Gronkowski more than 3 times?
- Will Brady need to ask security if he can say “hi” to his son after the game?
- Will Brady throw a pass, in yards, longer than his age, in years (43)?
- Will the broadcast show Gisele more than once?
- Will Brady attempt a quarterback sneak?
- Will the broadcasters mention Cam Newton more than once?
- Will Brady be sacked more than twice?
- Will Brady give Buccaneers owner Joel Glazer both a hug and a kiss?
- Will Brady throw a completion before Mahomes?
- Will the broadcasters mention Brady was drafted by the Montreal Expos?
- Will Brady throw for more than 300 yards?
- Will the broadcasters mention Brady’s diet?
- Will Brady complete passes to more than six different Bucs receivers?
- Will Brady be the only player to not wear a mask during the Lombardi Trophy presentation?
- Will Brady throw an interception?
- Will Brady look Mahomes in the eye in their post-game meet-up if the Chiefs win?
- Will Brady throw a pick-six?
- Will Brady call a “Foxborough” audible?
- Will Brady make you wish he was still a Patriot?
Read more
- Shaughnessy: Recalling another high-stakes Brady-Mahomes matchup, and other thoughts
- Tom Brady got a very NSFW ‘Mean Tweets’ edition from Jimmy Kimmel
- Unconventional preview: It should be easy to root for Tom Brady in the Super Bowl, but these feelings are complicated
- I rewatched every fourth quarter Tom Brady has played in a Super Bowl. Here’s what I saw
Michael Silverman can be reached at michael.silverman@globe.com. Follow Andrew Mahoney @GlobeMahoney.