The Globe Spotlight Team is publishing a three-part series, starting December 13, that examines the government’s approach to curbing Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) and co-sleeping with babies.
The first part explores cases of parents who were blamed after their infant died tragically in a co-sleeping environment - and how such judgments fall disproportionately on low-income families.
These parents described feeling only criticism and punishment instead of compassion. But government agencies say bed-sharing with babies is highly risky and these deaths were preventable.
Fill out the form below to share your thoughts, or personal experience.
Sample responses from readers will be posted below.
Savannah of Boston: The inequity in response is clearly unfair and needs to be rectified. However, as a new mother myself, it was absolutely made clear to me (everywhere except social media) that I should not bed share and that is is very dangerous to do so. This is not hidden information. It seems that people do it anyway out of desperation- but people do a lot of things out of desperation that they are then held accountable for.....(In addition) Perhaps doctors and hospitals should do more to specifically discount the social media rhetoric around cosleeping. The hospital only says that it’s not safe. The rhetoric on social media says that it’s “natural”, “promotes bonding”, etc. Experts should speak directly to those claims.
Anonymous: It’s disgusting and awful. To lose a child and then have to go through this?? Wealthier parents never come across these heartless bureaucracies, and if by rare chance they do, they rightfully bring all the legal powers their money can bear to them. Thank you for investigating this issue. Now we must change these systems....(DCF) needs to become educated on Sudden Infant Death Syndrome!. Also, a cluttered home and smoking weed does NOT mean one is a bad parent. Shame on Department of Child Protective Services which appears to have much more to attend to in its own bureaucracy to assist needy children and struggling parents. This also seems like it would be a great legal avenue for pro bono work defending these grieving parents. If I had a law degree, I would do so myself for them...as a middle class white woman, I would most probably have the privilege not to have it happen to me. It is shocking.
Anonymous: The Department of Children and Family investigators threatened to bring criminal charges in the Cross case? I call BS-- DCF is not a law enforcement agency. If a crime was committed, that’s handled by the police. The social worker agency has nothing to do with determining cause of death or whether charges are brought. This whole piece is so one sided--- some of the examples are drug involved parents that have an infant that suddenly dies, and you’re outraged that the State would have the nerve to suggest “hey, maybe we’ll take the other kids out the house for a while while we investigate to make sure everyone is safe”. Would you rather they leave all the kids in the potentially unsafe situation? That would be your next big expose--- “State social workers fail to take action- 2nd child dies”.
Jane Smith of Reading: I think there should be more training in unconscious bias on behalf of investigators, as the inequity present in the investigations is notable. I also think the warnings around cosleeping are incredibly unrealistic....The government echoes the American Academy of Pediatrics which recommend the ABCs of Safe Sleep: Alone, Back and Crib. However, the truth is that many young babies simply can’t sleep that way. They will wake up constantly, or just refuse to go to sleep completely. Parents simply cannot remain awake forever. Eventually, they will fall asleep, perhaps in a worse location, such as a couch holding the baby, than a bed that has been prepared for sharing with a young infant by removing pillows or thick blankets. Public health recommendations are based on scenarios that often don’t exist with infants and in doing so, set parents up to fail.
Cynthia Payne of Williamstown: It’s a witch hunt. All mammals sleep with their babies. It’s only been fairly recently in time than people have put their babies in a crib in another room. I slept with all four of my children. I was always aware and responsive to them. A co-sleeping mother (unless impaired) is no more likely to overlay her infant than to fall out of bed. She is always aware of her infant just like she is aware of the edge of the bed.
Kate Gilmore of Cape Cod: Terrible. Co -sleeping happens all over the world and for centuries. It’s ridiculous today you can’t even use a blanket! How did the WORLD survive to this point...It’s up to the parents on sleeping arrangements- any parent looks out for their babies. The State or police can’t pass judgement. The State can’t even protect children in DCF.
Lizzy of Andover: I find this (government) response to be abhorrent. This is a parent’s worst nightmare coming true, and the gulf in compassion offered to parents seems both classist and racist...I think that family leave could be part of this conversation. Parents often resort to co-sleeping because they’re so exhausted. I remember feeling most exhausted and overwhelmed after my partner went back to work 2 weeks after our daughter was born. New parents and mothers aren’t supported enough in general in this country, and I’m wondering if families would make safer sleep decisions if they had more support, education, and time to rest.
Reader from North Smithfield, R.I.: The state needs sound, objective criteria or policies to handle these situations! It should be VERY clear. Also, sound pre-natal and post-natal education needs to be done.
Anonymous: Although a baby can never be brought back to life, if bed sharing was involved in an infant’s death all cases should be investigated. The American Academy of Pediatrics strongly opposes bed sharing. If there was no bed sharing involved, there would be a lot less questions asked about the cause of death. https://www.aap.org/en/news-room/news-releases/aap/2022/american-academy-of-pediatrics-updates-safe-sleep-recommendations-back-is-best/
Reader from Hawaii: This issue makes me REALLY angry. When I had my first child at B+W in Boston in 1983, I was basically told I could kill my child by letting her sleep on her back. In 1988 at the same hospital I was again told I could could kill my child if I put him on her stomach. EXACT OPPOSITE WITH SAME AUTHORITY!!!...I always tell parents-they need to do their best to decide how to raise their children-the buck ends with them-not necessarily with some over confident “expert”.
Duncan Cox from Massachusetts: I am hard pressed to think of any instance in which a parent should be investigated for the death of the infant when all parties agree the death was accidental. In any case, a death that everyone agrees resulted from CO sleeping should never be investigated. CO sleeping is not illegal or even a misdemeanor. It is the most natural of nurturing human behaviors...my wife and I did sometimes sleep with our infant. In our case we moved her to a crib but made exceptions.
Maine reader: Much is clearly persecution of people who have already suffered. It is needlessly multiplying their pain.
Megan from Springfield: Awful. I find it so upsetting that public health information about a safe sleep environment could have prevented some of these deaths (for example, it is safer to set up your bed for safe cosleeping than to risk accidentally falling asleep sitting up with baby). I think the government’s current approach is irresponsible, and criminally prosecuting parents is disgusting...[would recommend] accessible public health info about safe co-sleeping, no DCF involvement, acknowledgment of racial and economic disparities
Boston emergency department doctor: I think this is irresponsible GLOBE reporting to frame this as something worth this many words. DCF is called for a lot of things and it is totally appropriate to be called and investigate any unexpected infant death! 2,300 infants are lost annually to SIDS. If only 25 parents based on your reporting are dealing with investigations then DCF is probably under investigating. I work in an emergency department and have to call DCF on families who are neglecting or actively harming their children and they don’t take away children whimsically. If anything I’ve had to debrief and comfort my staff who stay up at night worrying about patients who they send home with parents they don’t think are properly caring for their children yet the system gives them A LOT of room to improve and show their ability to care for kids. You stressed the wrong fact of key medically important information which is co-sleeping is NOT medically recommended and can be dangerous. If even one family reads this and stops co-sleeping with their infant because they don’t want DCF to call them (which is ridiculous and won’t happen without cause) then fine because they shouldn’t be doing that. In addition, you will NOT be prevented from getting a job if DCF doesn’t find reason to keep your case open. Any cases dropped will not serve as a penalty for a family or individual. They NEED to do a job and keep kids safe. Don’t discourage reporting because someone may worry about that! We have serious underreporting of horrible things that go on too long and cause significant trauma and death of children every day! DCF is over strained yet should be called if anyone has suspicions of abuse or neglect. Their bar for keeping an investigation open is seriously high and justified. I’m disappointed at this reporting and at the Globe for putting this in print framing the problem as a racial or equity issue and not highlighting a serious tragic medical diagnosis. This doesn’t help anyone...DCF investigations are warranted if the person has high risk prior behaviors or past incidents. The loss of an infant is tragic and no one wants children to be at risk. It’s for the safety of other children ALIVE in a home and safeguarding their best interest. I would recommend NOT co-sleeping. A child is safer in a number of other affordable or make-shift cribs than in a bed next to an over-tired adult. We have had families convert a regular drawer into a bassinet for a child which was innovative and safer than co-sleeping. It showed a family’s desire to care responsibly for their baby.
Jenna Reyes can be reached at jenna.reyes@globe.com. Follow her @jennaelaney and Instagram @jennaelaney.