Sex therapy is not just about sex. I mean ... it is about sex. But I used to assume that when people sought out a sex therapist, it was only to talk about what’s wrong in the bedroom. Or why they’re not connecting with a partner. Or why they’re having trouble pleasuring themselves or others.
But it’s about a lot more than that.
I’ve been interviewing sex therapists about what they do, and it’s all over the map. They can help people talk about gender. They can help people accept that it’s OK to have less sex.
Their work is about helping us decide what brings us comfort, happiness, and pleasure — and how we can have all of those good things without taking anything away from anyone else.
Sex therapists — including the one in today’s episode of the Love Letters podcast — say that a lot of people don’t really understand the range of the work, or what it takes to become a certified sex therapist.
You’ll learn all about what sex therapy really is from Krista Nabar, today’s guest. It’s an episode I named “The Pleasure Principle,” partly because I’m seeing Janet Jackson soon, so it’s been in my head.
Krista gets into the reality of sex therapy, but she also tells a story that has very little to do with sex. In her own life, getting comfortable with sex wasn’t the problem. Her issues were about figuring out what it means to be honest about what brings her happiness — and what doesn’t. If you’re a people-pleaser, it can be easy to ignore what you actually want.
Today’s episode is for anyone who feels like they put their own needs aside for others. You’ll learn you’re not alone. Even licensed mental health professionals like Krista can forget how to be good to themselves.
[Listen on Apple | Listen on Spotify]
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