It was a meet-cute made for (West) Hollywood.
In May 2016, Ben Sidell, an alum of the A.R.T. Institute at Harvard University, was an actor living in Los Angeles. Then 28, the Brookline native had joined the League — it had just launched “beta for queers,” he explains — an exclusive dating app that vets its members based on factors like connections and professional background.
Ben’s first match was a then-27-year-old Bravo production manager originally from Larchmont, N.Y., Garett Weinstein. He had liked a photo of Garett’s blue hair. (“He had just been to Coachella,” Ben explains.) They’d exchanged a few messages when Ben spotted a familiar aquamarine mane while on an afternoon walk with his dog.
Garett was walking and talking on the phone, but he noticed Ben, too. “My heart skipped a beat,” he remembers.
They both quickly opened the League to corroborate the close encounter.
“It turned out we lived two blocks away from each other,” says Ben.
Their first date was at Coffee Commissary, an outpost of the LA coffee chain in their West Hollywood neighborhood.
“All of my first dates had to be [for] coffee, so if it was a disaster, I could bail within 20 minutes,” says Ben. “And we stayed for two hours.”
Garett described the date as “cozy, warm, and familiar.” Ben remembers his first impression of Garett being “effervescent — I was taken by his energy." Garett was likewise refreshed by Ben’s forwardness and ability to communicate: “This [connection] felt really secure. Everything was on the table.”
They walked home together and shared a first kiss outside Ben’s apartment building.
A week later, they met to see the live-action rendition of “The Jungle Book,” then have dinner at Tart, a now-closed restaurant in the Farmer’s Daughter Hotel, where they tried alligator.
“I come from a very intensely foodie family,” explains Ben.
Ben’s mother, Kathy Sidell, is a Boston restaurateur and the CEO of Sidell Hospitality, behind the likes of Saltie Girl (which has a second location in LA) and Stephanie’s. His grandfather is the late Jack Sidell, who had financed many early beginnings within Boston’s food scene, including Hamersley’s Bistro and Jasper’s.
Ahead of Labor Day, Garett joined Ben’s boisterous family for their annual trip to Nantucket. A week of passion fruit cosmos, beach barbecues, dinner at The Pearl — with “upwards of 20″ members of Ben’s family and closest friends. Garett, one of two siblings from a “subdued” household, remembers suspecting his new beau’s family found him to be “quiet.”
“It takes me a while to warm up,” he adds.
But Ben saw Garett’s pensive nature as intentional thoughtfulness within a sometimes crowded spotlight.
“We’re very loud and opinionated and not the easiest group to dive into,” Ben explains of his family, “but Garett’s calm, observing demeanor was helpful. He’s able to take it all in without having the need or want to battle for airtime.”
Garett had realized he loved Ben before the trip, while at an LCD Soundsystem concert: “I’m very connected to music and sometimes that’s how I process a lot of my feelings ... Ben wasn’t there, but I remember just having a moment with the music and missing him ... and being like, “Oh, OK, I love this person.’”
On the flight home from Nantucket, clasping hands across aisle seats, Garett told Ben that he loved him.
“Well, obviously, I love you, too,” Ben replied.
The years that followed featured the “highest of highs and lowest of lows,” with major losses of loved ones, and life changes for both partners. They became “dog dads” to their cavapoo, Juniper. Garett traded reality television for mental health; returning for a master’s degree from Antioch University. He’s now a practicing psychotherapist.
Ben masked up to deliver his sweet treats throughout LA during the COVID-19 pandemic. His homemade creations became an Instagram sensation after actress Busy Philipps posted a batch of his cookies that she had been gifted. To meet demand, he began SweetBoy, now a bi-coastal bakery sibling to Saltie Girl, where he’s managing director and executive pastry chef.
In December 2023, the couple escaped to Le Toiny, a Nancy Myers-worthy resort nestled in the hills of St. Barts. Before the trip, Ben had contacted the concierge for help with a marriage proposal. They suggested enlisting a turtle.
After a morning workout, Garett joined Ben in an open-air buggy, heading to a beach lunch with Ben’s family. When the driver stopped to point out something crossing their path, he asked Garett: “Do you want to go touch the turtle?”
At first, Garett was aghast. (“No! They could have diseases.") But when he noticed a small piece of paper stuck to its shell, he got out to remove it.
The paper featured a “B&G” and a heart. Then, Ben got on one knee.
“I didn’t want the turtle to ask the question for me,” explains Ben. “It was absurd and wonderful and very silly. And no turtles were harmed, thank God.”
To plan a Wine Country wedding weekend that would satisfy guests from both coasts, they worked with Rebecca Stone of Duet Weddings.
On May 31, Ben and Garett wed at The Inn at Mattei’s Tavern in Los Olivos, Calif., in the Santa Ynez Valley. The couple wore bespoke blush tuxedos by Klein Epstein Parker, and said “I do” in a late afternoon ceremony officiated by Rabbi Heather Miller with 130 guests.
Ben and his family did not step into the kitchen, though “there were moments where it felt like we did,” Ben says. Boston chef Tiffani Faison, a close friend of the Sidells, however, doubled as guest and cheese maestro, creating an elaborate table-size spread for the cocktail hour.
Dinner — featuring brightly crisp French salads, grilled branzino, and Australian Wagyu with smoked salt — had been inspired by Le Club 55, a classic seaside beach club-restaurant in St Tropez.
SweetBoy treats were part of the elaborate dessert spread, which featured Ben’s signature chocolate chip cookies alongside three wedding cakes made by Santa Barbara’s Frances Baking and a three-foot raspberry tart by Chef Sally Camacho.
After the ceremony, the sky broke and rain sent guests indoors. When they emerged for the seated dinner, a double rainbow lit up the sky. Then came the party — followed by the afterparty.
“Our goal for the day was to start ‘incredibly civilized in the English Garden,’” explains Ben, “and to end in this Bacchanal-inspired dance party.”
At 11 p.m., the lighting shifted in the courtyard. There were espresso martini shots, Saltie Girl caviar, and a surprise performance by Jorgeous, a fan-favorite contestant from “RuPaul’s Drag Race.” Followed by more dancing, into the wee morning hours.
“My favorite moment was watching Garett dance,” says Ben. “The joy in Garett’s demeanor when he is alive on the dance floor is pretty magical.”
Read more from The Big Day, The Boston Globe’s new weddings column.
Rachel Kim Raczka is a writer and editor in Boston. She can be reached at rachel.raczka@globe.com.