One day in April 2024, Mia takes a plane from London, where she has been living for the past six months, to New York, where she lived for a long time. In her seat she scrolls through photos on her phone of the friends she met at the University of Pennsylvania, who then went on to accompany her through key stages of her adult life. Pictures of individuals trigger memories; a group photo from 2019 — “all of them together,” before they drifted, or were driven apart — unleashes waves of emotion. The chipper passenger next to her tries to perk her up: “It’s not like someone’s died, now, is it!” “Actually?” Mia replies. “They have.”
So begins Grant Ginder’s sixth novel. But “So Old, So Young” is not solely about Mia and her homecoming. After his enticing opener, Ginder rewinds and then proceeds to chronicle the lives of six friends on five separate occasions over the course of almost two decades. We immerse ourselves in the giddy whirl of those lives, witnessing all manner of trials and triumphs. At the same time, we read on to find out which life was tragically cut short and how that death impacts Mia and those nearest and dearest to her.
Ginder’s first section plays out at a party in a Lower Manhattan apartment in the last hours of 2007. Mia and her roommates Adam and Sasha see in the new year with other former college friends. Alcohol and conversation flow but not everyone is at ease. Despite graduating two years ago, many have found the transition to adulthood tricky. Adam is in law school and knows what he wants professionally, but he is in love with party host Richie and unsure where he stands emotionally. Richie seeks oblivion again through drink and drugs. Marco misses Colombia and worries that his return to New York is a wrong move. And Mia wants to be a serious journalist but is stuck in a rut writing about scents for the grooming section of a magazine. She and Marco temporarily forget their problems when they escape from the crowd, find solace in each other, and kiss after midnight.
That kiss kick-starts a relationship, although not one that lasts. Ginder fast forwards to 2014 and depicts a wedding in Cancún. Mia learns the hard way that Marco’s plus-one is his fiancée, Emily. Adam decides to end things with Richie after witnessing him crashing and burning, and hurting those around him. The scene later changes to Richie’s 35th birthday party in Amagansett in 2018. He lists the reasons why his old friends have seen each other less and less: “Careers, marriages, Brooklyn, babies. Stints out west in restorative desert rehab clinics.” Tensions flare up in the sun but so too do passions as Sasha, now a married mother, succumbs to temptation and pursues her illicit affair out of eyeshot of the other guests — or so she thinks.
By the time Sasha hosts a Halloween party at her New Jersey home in 2022, certain friendships that were once tight bonds have been reduced to loose ties. In an explosive showdown, lies are exposed and secrets are aired, and soon people who were the strongest of allies run the risk of becoming at best strangers and at worst enemies.
Ginder’s previous books have revolved around comically dysfunctional families in all their complexity and absurdity. “Honestly, We Meant Well” (2019) scrutinized a disintegrating family on a Greek vacation. “Let’s Not Do That Again” (2022) tracked a mother on a mission to save her family’s reputation and her political campaign. And Ginder’s finest work, the unimprovably titled “The People We Hate at the Wedding” (2017), was a riotous romp that examined toxic family relations in the run-up to a supposedly happy couple’s big day.
“So Old, So Young” marks a departure of sorts, both tonally and thematically. Ginder focuses his gaze on friends, not family, and offsets his trademark humor with pathos. The bittersweet mood of the proceedings renders his main characters and their actions more believable. Even the peripheral figures ring true, from overlooked and undervalued Nina to Mia’s awful boyfriend Lev, who condescends to her, claims “Serious people don’t have children,” and drives a giant SUV that “looked like it was meant to rove the moon, or invade Iraq.”
Ginder rotates his characters’ perspectives, which results in a richly variegated narrative. However, some episodes are too fragmentary and end just as they are getting started, such as Sasha’s intriguing phase of making nocturnal visits to “places she didn’t belong.” In contrast, other strands, like the tedious drama involving a dead goldfish, run on too long.
But Ginder hits far more often than he misses, routinely impressing with sharp dialogue, bold set-pieces, and compelling portrayals of enduring or foundering friendships. The book’s final section, comprising a reunion at a funeral, could have been mawkish but instead is moving. Here and elsewhere, we cheer on the characters as they strive to overcome their weaknesses and face up to hard-won truths, like admitting to being “terribly, infuriatingly, obviously still in love,” or understanding that happiness is a condition we have to work to create, “like good posture or low cholesterol.” Brilliantly observed and deeply felt, this is a riveting tale about how we live, learn, and evolve with a little help from our friends.
SO OLD, SO YOUNG
By Grant Ginder
Scout Press/Simon & Schuster, 384 pages, $29
Malcolm Forbes has written for The Economist, The Wall Street Journal, and The Washington Post. He lives in Edinburgh.