Q. I am a perpetually single female, 31 years old. The longest relationship I’ve been in lasted two months. He was a lovely guy, but I did not like the thought of being more serious with him.
It’s like I just don’t have the drive other people seem to have to find a romantic partner.
The current dating landscape makes it even less appealing. I have a successful career, friends, close family, hobbies, and everything else except a romantic relationship. I actually feel 90 percent comfortable with being single for the rest of my life, but the remaining 10 percent sometimes gets to me. I don’t feel like I’m missing out on much, but what if I am?
It makes me wonder: Is there still hope to find true love? Or the real question is: How can I shake off that last 10 percent, get over it, and live out my happy single life?
– Almost Comfortable
A. You’re happy with your life. That’s fantastic.
Why must you decide, at 31, that you have to be single for the rest of your life? You could fall in love at 39 and want to be single again at 42. You could find love next week and choose to be on your own after 50.
The point is: You don’t know and you’re not supposed to. Life is designed to be unpredictable.
Please know: I believe you when you say your world is excellent right now. I do not believe people need romantic relationships to be complete.
That said, it’s great you’re 10 percent open to change. I love that a sliver of you thinks, What if?
Maybe it’s the 10 percent that would notice if you met someone wonderful. It also might be the part of you that says, “I should move to a new city. I should try beef tartare. Let’s do more volunteer work. I could see more live music. Maybe I should buy a bike.”
What a great thing to be able to say, “I like where I am, but let’s see what happens.”
– Meredith
READERS RESPOND
It’s good you can accept being single forever; you aren’t so desperate to find someone you don’t really love, just to have a partner. I also agree with Meredith that you can’t predict what will happen in the future. LEGALLYLIZ2017
Being happy with your life, as it is, is wonderful. And being open to something different is, too. But when you talk about having “hope to find true love,” well, that just means you’re no different from a lot of us. You hope for love, but haven’t found it yet. What you’re really asking is whether you should give up. And I would answer: Why close that door if you don’t have to? OUTOFORDER
Single people have times that they are lonely and people in relationships sometimes get sick of their partner even when they are generally happy—so don’t try to get rid of that 10 percent feeling. HIKERGALNH128
Marriage doesn’t make people happy, it only makes them married. You sound like you have a good life and a good attitude. Relax and take things as they come. PHILONIA
Send your own relationship and dating questions to loveletters@globe.com or fill out this form. Catch new episodes of Meredith Goldstein’s Love Letters podcast wherever you listen to podcasts. Column and comments are edited and reprinted from boston.com/loveletters.