Hammer vs. nail, ice cream cone vs. summer sunshine, the Red Sox vs. public relations fallout: That’s the nature of the playoff rivalry between the Celtics and the 76ers, which is to say it isn’t really one.
The history-packed cities of Boston and Philadelphia are rivals. Celtics vs. Sixers isn’t a rivalry. It’s a recurring playoff program with a predictable outcome — the Celtics prevailing and the 76ers failing.
Boston took control of this NBA-record 23rd playoff series between the storied franchises with a bug-meet-windshield 128-96 romp in Game 4 Sunday night behind swaggering sixth man Payton Pritchard (32 points) to seize a 3-1 series lead. Boisterous Green Teamers overran Philadelphia’s Xfinity Mobile Arena to savor the dominance over the 76ers and savior Joel Embiid, mocking the “We want Boston” chants Philly fans must be regretting like a bad hangover. The Celtics never led by less than double digits in the final three quarters.
The Celtics have turned the team from the City of Brotherly Love into their basketball little brothers that they tease, taunt, and toy with before the inevitable outcome. They own the Embiid-era Sixers, winning the previous three series against them.
Hopefully, the Green put the 76ers out of their misery on Tuesday at TD Garden, and we can move on to actual playoff basketball. Philly is a foil for the Celtics. The Sixers won Game 2 with an anomalous shooting performance from 3-point range — 19 for 39, but they’re 25 of 88 otherwise — and have lost two games in the series by 32-point margins.
This series is no contest, and the Celtics are poised for the gentleman’s sweep. The return of oft-injured 76ers center Embiid, who played for the first time since undergoing an appendectomy on April 9, didn’t change that.
The Celtics own Embiid in the playoffs. He has played against them in 16 playoff games and is now 3-13. Six of the losses are by double digits, four are by at least 20 points. The Process contributed 26 points, 10 rebounds, and 6 assists in 34 minutes. But his presence did little to deter the Celtics, who got 57 points from their bench, including 24 of their 34 points in the first quarter, and drained a franchise playoff-record 24 threes.
Philly has a tradition where someone rings the bell pregame. The Celtics rang their bell during the game. There’s not a Bobby Jones in the bunch with this bunch.
“They just kind of moved us around, pushed us around, offensively and defensively, and got to whatever spot they wanted to get to,” said 76ers guard Tyrese Maxey. “There was no resistance. That’s unacceptable. That’s not our brand of basketball that we play.”
It is against the Celtics in the playoffs.
The 76ers haven’t beaten the Celtics in a playoff series since the 1982 Eastern Conference finals, the famed “Beat LA” chant game. More recently, the Celtics dispatched the Embiid Sixers in five games in 2018, swept them in the COVID bubble in 2020, and during Joe Mazzulla’s first season as Celtics coach, blasted them in a Game 7 of the 2023 Eastern Conference semifinals at the Garden, 112-88.
For Philadelphia, resistance is futile and minimal. About the only thing the 76ers haven’t given up this series is Eagles wide receiver A.J. Brown.
The Celtics outrebounded them, 51-30, continuing a theme of the series. Boston built a big lead despite Jayson Tatum and Jaylen Brown starting the game a combined 2 of 14 and contributing 13 points on 4-of-16 shooting in the first half. An unconscious Pritchard, who picked up where he left off in Game 3 when he hit five threes, picked up the slack with 18 points in the first half, including a one-legged, buzzer-beating trey to end the first quarter.
“It’s a luxury to have a guy like that who can score with the best of them coming off the bench on your team,” said Tatum, who shot just 1 for 7 in the first half.
Embiid got his points, but the big man seemed to throw the 76ers’ offensive rhythm off as Maxey went missing in the first half, taking just three shots. Embiid wasn’t much of a factor defensively. He was a minus-25 for the game.
“He’s so effective to the point that you just have to know what you’re willing to live with, what you’re willing to take away, and you’ve got to be ready to do that,” said Mazzulla.
The Jays took over in the second half. Brown and Tatum scored or assisted on the first 31 points of the third quarter. Brown poured in 12 of his 20 points in the third.
Tatum torched the 76ers in the second half, scoring 25 of his 30 points on 7-of-9 shooting. He finished with 11 assists and seven rebounds to go along with his 35th career 30-point postseason performance.
The scary part is the Celtics still haven’t clicked on all cylinders in this series. It was another quiet night — outside of his usual energy plays and a classic chasedown block — from Derrick White. But he did drain half of his four 3-point attempts after shooting 5 for 25 from deep in the first three games.
It doesn’t matter. The Celtics don’t even need him. Barring a calamitous injury, the only way the Celtics could lose this series is if they fielded a bunch of Neemias Quetas and had to forfeit after everyone fouled out.
Mazzulla’s message for Game 5 is simple: “At the end of the day, we just have to play Celtics basketball and stick to the process of winning.”
Winning is the process for the Celtics against The Process and his 76ers.
The Celtics-76ers rivalry remains more repetitive than competitive.
Christopher L. Gasper is a Globe columnist. He can be reached at christopher.gasper@globe.com. Follow him @cgasper and on Instagram @cgaspersports.