Do you have a type?
As in, a specific brand of person you’ve always found yourself attracted to?
Are they tall? Goofy? Introverted? The life of the party?
Are they athletic men who remind you of Travis Kelce? Or women who wear dresses with pockets and remind you of librarians?
In the latest episode of the Love Letters podcast, we explore the ups and downs of having a type through the story of Jordan, a 37-year-old New York City man, who has a very specific, holy grail-level person who has inspired many of his choices in dating.
His type is: women who remind him of Janeane Garofalo.
For those who don’t know, Garofalo is an actress and comedian known for movies such as “Reality Bites,” “The Truth About Cats & Dogs,” and my personal favorite, “Romy & Michele’s High School Reunion.”
She has a thriving standup career and has continued to appear onscreen in everything from “Broad City” to “Stranger Things: Tales from ’85.”
Jordan explains that he saw Garofalo on television when he was a kid – when she made an appearance as a substitute teacher on the quirky ‘90s kids show “The Adventures of Pete & Pete” – and his life was changed.
From then on, he found himself drawn to brunettes who are witty, sarcastic, and wear cool glasses.
These people are great. Wonderful, actually.
The thing is, for Jordan, pursuing these Garofalo-types hasn’t resulted in partnership. In fact, these women tend to have no interest in him.
Or they have some interest – but they also have other plans, and he’s not their type for the long haul.
Jordan has wondered: will his pursuit of this type stand in the way of his romantic future?
He and I ask: do some people’s personal preferences keep them from finding the partnership they desire?
In a nuanced conversation, Jordan and I get to the bottom of what really stands in our way when we keep trying to date the same person over and over again.
Please enjoy this episode, which is about pop culture, love, and the psychology of attraction.
Please know: this episode is also a love letter, one might say, to Garofalo, whom I also fell for – as a platonic idol– when I was a teen. I saw her in movies like “Reality Bites” and thought, “I hope I can be her when I grow up.”
Catch new episodes of Meredith Goldstein’s “Love Letters” podcast wherever you listen to podcasts. Send your own relationship and dating questions to loveletters@globe.com or fill out this form.