Unicorn
Americanus-Billionairus
Beautiful, incredibly rare mare ritually sacrificed by techno-druids for a billion dollar IPO
Narwahl Street
Canadus-Billionarius
Home of the Canadian Unicorn, the Narwhal
Patent Ogre
Predatoryus-litigious
Just stole your Unicorn/Narwhal with a club (patent-pending)
Google Succubus
Giveus-ur-dataus
Does No Evil (Terms and Conditions apply)
Gentrifigriffin
Griffindorus-Displacucus
A formidable creature, combining a lion, eagle, and a recent MBA grad
Pandora’s Cardboard Box
Bubble-gonna-popus
Once home to all the evils in the world, now the last affordable place to live in Boston
Broclops
Myopicus-brogrammus
Large eye perfectly suited for coding, beer pong (Lives with Gentrifgriffin in Pandora’s Cardboard Box)
All-Mummy Advisory Board
Ancientus-Boys-Clubus
Secured the first round of venture capital on the Sphinx
Goddess of Equal Pay
Justice-absenteeus
Despite anecdotal claims, existence has never been verified
Jason Novak is a cartoonist in Oakland, Calif. Adam Bessie is a writer and community college English professor in Berkeley, Calif.
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