“ ‘Friends are the sunshine of life.’ Will you be my bridesmaid?”
“I love it!” said Guerra, 30, hugging her friend. “If I’m not the one getting married, this is the second-best thing. I say, ‘Yes’!”
Champagne arrived, and the waitress returned, asking: “What are we celebrating?”
“She just became a bridesmaid in my wedding!” Vollmar exclaimed.
The modest phone call or simple, heartfelt request has become passe in the world of weddings. Celebratory bridesmaid proposals are on the rise as the hardest-working member of the wedding party finally gets her due. There are elaborate gifts and even mini-productions (a la the now ubiquitous prom-posal) to pamper the person who will, in turn, pamper the bride before, during, and after the Big Day.
“It’s about creating a special moment and making them feel it’s a really big deal because it is,” said Kristen Maxwell Cooper, deputy editor of wedding website The Knot.
Maxwell Cooper said The Knot calls it proposing to your bridesmaids, which reflects a larger trend about the magnification of smaller special occasions. There are gender-reveal parties announcing a baby’s sex and even destination 30th birthday parties. But for those who can afford it, weddings keep spinning off more and more celebrations — large and small.
“It used to be a rehearsal dinner, wedding, and reception. Now there’s a brunch and after-party and welcome drinks separate from rehearsal dinner. Everything is a little more over the top,” said Maxwell Cooper.
To be sure, bridesmaid proposals have the potential to escalate (helicopters and limousines?), but for now the trend seems, in part, driven by Etsy and Pinterest. Etsy is where bride-to-be Kara Irwin found wooden boxes she could customize for her nine bridesmaids. The 28-year-old, who will marry in June 2016, had the names of her attendants carved and attached to each box. Then she filled them with a small bottle of champagne, nail polish, chocolates, photographs, a handwritten card, and the proposal. Most of
the boxes were delivered when Irwin took them for a celebratory dinner.
“Hopefully it meant a little more than a phone call or text message. I wanted them to know how important it was to me they were part of my wedding,” said Irwin, a Boston resident and marketing manager at YMCA Greater Boston.
For some brides, the proposal is as much an acknowledgment of friendship as a pragmatic endeavor. Bride-to-be Renee Sabo presented her maid of honor — her only attendant — with a floral print box filled with gifts and instructions. Along with a Ring Pop, champagne, and a mini wedding day emergency kit, the Boston-based party planner, who works at SD Events, decorated the box with navy, gold, and pink (her wedding colors), and four custom-printed cards: One was the official maid of honor proposal while another provided wedding specifics. The third detailed the maid of honor’s roles and the fourth card described dress options with swatches of fabric and pictures of dress ideas.
“I’m a way more organized bride to know that in advance,” said Sabo.
Equally important was a Kate Spade notebook with Sabo’s list of responsibilities.
“My maid of honor’s planning the bachelorette party and shower with my mom,” said Sabo. “I don’t want to have to talk to anyone on the wedding day. My hope is everyone will talk to my maid of honor.”
Maxwell Cooper said the more details, the better.
“It’s an honor, but it comes with a lot of responsibility,” she said. “We say that when you do propose, make sure you’re open with what your expectations are. Is it enough to wear what they want and show up on the date, or do you want them to throw a shower?”
Less common are groomsmen proposals, but that might be just a matter of time. Alissa Galford, who works in executive affairs at Rafanelli Events, said the event planning company just assisted a groom who recently ordered custom gifts for his seven wedding party members. Included in each personalized wooden box was an engraved flask, a bottle of scotch, and a note requesting toasts at various points leading up to the wedding. Each box cost about $200, Galford said.
But what’s a couple hundred dollars more when the average wedding in the US last year cost a cool $31,213, according to The Knot.
In Vollmar’s case, theme was top priority. The WCVB meteorologist found the sunshine quote online, and chose the princess sunglasses as a nod to the wedding venue (Searles Castle in Windham, N.H.).
“It was perfect,” she said.
With 10 bridesmaids in her wedding party, Vollmar, 30, might be asking right up until her June 2016 date. Guerra, who lives in Dallas and met Vollmar when they both worked at Oklahoma TV stations, was the meteorologist’s third successful proposal, and the Legal setting was as well thought out as any of the other details.
“Two years ago, she came to visit and I took her to the Seaport,” said Vollmar. “I was thinking it should be someplace special.”
Jill Radsken can be reached at jill.radsken@gmail.com.