Canine cops continue their crimefighting chores at your local bijou. Last year, we had a new entry in the “Paw Patrol” franchise; this year brings the half-man, half-pup hybrid that is “Dog Man.” Your kids will rejoice while you secretly hope they’ll forget this headache-inducing movie exists once it hits streaming. Get ready for repeat viewings galore.
Based on the graphic novels by Dav Pilkey, this is the second film in the “Captain Underpants” cinematic universe. Writer-director Peter Hastings follows 2017′s “Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie” with this eye-searing, extremely busy, animated action comedy starring the voice talents of “Saturday Night Live” alumni Pete Davidson and Cheri Oteri, among others.
Davidson plays Petey the Cat, an evil orange feline mastermind whose goal is to take over the city run by Oteri’s angry mayor. Thwarting him at every turn are Officer Knight and his canine partner, Greg. Officer Knight may be the dumbest cop who ever lived — Greg is the brains of this operation — but they still manage to get their cat every time.
Unfortunately, Petey is a master of prison breakouts, presumably because the mayor’s inferior jail design makes escaping easy. During the kitty crimewave that opens “Dog Man,” Petey leaves a bomb for Officer Knight and Greg to defuse. Listening to his color-blind partner, Knight cuts the wrong wire. The resulting explosion renders Knight’s head, and Greg’s body, useless.
Two chipper surgeons decide to sew Greg’s head on Knight’s body. Voila! Dog Man is born. In keeping with the source material, Dog Man does not talk. Hastings provides his occasional barks. Unfortunately, nobody else in this movie ever shuts up, and the endless dialogue they’re given is full of exposition and jokes far too juvenile to entertain parents.
Adults may be amused by a scene that rips off the most poignant scene in 1987′s “Robocop.” Before they were blown to smithereens, Officer Knight asked Dog to take care of his girlfriend if anything were to happen to him. Dog Man returns to the house the three shared (for reasons I’m too afraid to fathom), but all that remains in the empty home are memories.
It worked better when Paul Verhoeven did it.
Anyway, Dog Man becomes an overnight sensation, much to the chagrin of his jealous boss, Chief (Lil Rel Howery). In addition to getting chewed out by Mayor every time Petey escapes Dog Man’s clutches, Chief has to deal with Sarah Hatoff (Isla Fisher), a reporter who can’t stop extolling Dog Man’s virtues in the newspaper.
Both Petey and Dog Man inherit partners to help them. Petey gets Flippy, a reanimated, formerly dead criminal mastermind fish that’s been reinforced with titanium and the voice of Ricky Gervais. Dog Man gets Lil’ Petey (Lucas Hopkins Calderon), a kitten who looks like Petey for reasons I won’t reveal, if only because it’s the best joke in the movie.
Don’t ask me how Stephen Root fits in as Petey’s evil grandfather. The rest of the cast features even more SNL alumni, including cameos by Laraine Newman and Melissa Villaseñor. The big surprise is that none of these talented voice actors bring anything new or interesting to their one-dimensional roles. Gervais in particular sounds like he’s reading cue cards, as if just hearing his snide voice would be enough.
In typical DreamWorks Animation fashion, the needle drops are obnoxious (wait until you get a load of Dog Man howling along with Hank Williams). And the animation is so bright and frenetic that I needed ibuprofen after my screening.
Look, I know I’m not the target audience for “Dog Man,” but there’s no reason I couldn’t have been entertained. After all, I grew up with “Underdog,” “Hong Kong Phooey,” and Brain from “Inspector Gadget” (the closest comparison to this movie), all cartoon dogs I enjoyed watching.
It’s very easy for me to get in touch with the kid I used to be, especially while watching an animated movie. But even with the killer buildings that figure in the film’s climax, my younger self would have been equally bored watching this movie.
As the credits rolled, I overheard a kid telling his father that “there were some new things added, but most of the story came from the books. I loved it!” Fans of “Dog Man” should listen to that kid’s review. The rest of you are stuck with me.
★½
DOG MAN
Written and directed by Peter Hastings, based on the books by Dav Pilkey. Starring Pete Davidson, Lil Rel Howery, Cheri Oteri, Isla Fisher, Ricky Gervais, Lucas Hopkins Calderon, Stephen Root, Laraine Newman, Melissa Villaseñor. At AMC Boston Common, Alamo Drafthouse Seaport, AMC Causeway, suburbs. 94 min. PG (cartoon peril, jokes about butt sniffing)
Odie Henderson is the Boston Globe's film critic.