Who does Dunkin’ think it is to change its own reward program?

The state needs to step in and regulate the coffee giant like it’s a utility.

Ally Rzesa/Globe Staff

To borrow from the 17th-century playwright William Congreve, hell hath no fury like a Dunkin’ rewards member scorned.

Or, to be more specific: Like a member who’s being cheated out of his free birthday drink; who now needs to spend $50 to earn a free cup of hot or iced coffee when $40 used to get him any freakin’ drink he wanted; who is looking at 900 points for a Caramel Craze latte.

In case you haven’t been following the drama: On Oct. 6, amid an economic climate in which loyalty programs like Dunkin’s are cutting into corporate profits, Dunkin announced a new rewards system that was widely perceived to be stingier. And then, in a chutzpah tour de force, pretended it was better.

“. . . We asked our members what they wanted to see in a new program,” the head of the beverage-snack category chirped in a news release. “They told us three things: flexibility, variety, and recognition.”

Recognition?

Let’s just say the aggrieved weren’t feeling the vibe. “Don’t try to piss on me and tell me it’s raining,” read a popular Reddit response.

More than a week into the slap, what the global corporation doesn’t seem to grasp is that all would have been OK with the hometown crowd if Dunkin’ had carved out an exception. Let ‘em toil months for a free Signature Latte in, say, Newark. There, it’s just a place to get some food.

But Dunkin’ is part of our identity — almost our fifth sports team. Local knowledge means knowing that a medium coffee regular comes with three creams and three sugars. Joy is a viral video that simultaneously mocks the Boston accent and our Dunkin’ obsession.

(See the fake SNL commercial with a Bruins-cap-wearing Casey Affleck professing his bleeping love for Dunkin’, and the Mark Wahlberg Vanity Fair tutorial on Boston slang.)

Is it any wonder that Dunkin’s disrespect felt like Tom Brady all over again? That locals flocked to social media and the comments sections to declare this is “the final nail in the coffin”?

How should Boston take this insult? No, not by taking its business elsewhere. Dunkin’ caused this problem, the local thinking goes, and Dunkin needs to fix it. To take it back.

But as time went on with no whispered heads-up that the locals were exempt from the new rewards structure, I e-mailed Dunkin’s press office and asked if the company would consider doing the right thing.

“Change is always going to be an adjustment,” a spokeswoman responded, “but in the long run, Dunkin’ loyalists will benefit even more.”

Adjustment, shmadjustment. Here’s a suggestion: the state needs to step in and regulate the company like it’s a utility. From now on, if Dunkin’ wants to change the terms of the relationship, let it file a petition with the Department of Public Utilities and allow for a public comment period.

Have Elizabeth Warren haul in Dunkin’ execs so they can explain to customers — to their faces — why they disappeared the word “Donuts” from their name.

Dunkin’, as you may know, is offering points-earning opportunities through the end of October. Members with “boosted status” — bestowed on those who visit 12 times in a calendar month — will earn 2X points on beverages and breakfast sandwiches. On “Mobile Mondays,” members earn 100 bonus points for ordering ahead on the app.

OK, but that’s just for a few more weeks. Dunkin’s loyalists need more opportunities to claw back what they feel is rightfully theirs. Suggestion: On days when temps fall below freezing, members who arrive in-store in flip flops earn a free crafted beverage. During a blizzard, those accessing the drive-thru will see their points doubled. Members ordering iced beverages (of any size) with documented proof that a pipe at home has frozen will receive a dozen stuffed bagel minis.

And Starbucks just formed a loyalty partnership with Delta Airlines. Why not a Dunkin + MBTA alliance.

The rewards program could be structured so that members earn Dunkin’ points every time they schlep to the station but then it turns out shuttle buses are in use, or the digital sign announces the train you want is on an indefinite hold at Government Center, or the T abruptly announces a 30-day shutdown, or new cars are promised but never arrive, or a train catches fire, or the T says the Orange Line is going to get faster but it gets slower, or . . .

Hey, maybe this new rewards program will work after all.