College is already underway for most newly arriving first-year students, but it’s never too late for a basic campus survival guide — not only for them and future students but for parents.
You may be thinking you’ve got everything covered, but take it from me, a psychiatrist at a major university’s counseling center. I have encountered every emergency you can imagine on a college campus, and possibly some you can’t. (Spoiler: None of what follows is about grades or sex.)
Lesson One: Dialing 9-1-1. I wish this lesson weren’t necessary, but it seems that colleges are littered with young people who are comfortable with multivariable calculus but not remotely familiar with the three digits that can save a life. Please confirm that your student knows how and when to dial 9-1-1. If you fail this step, parents, they will call you instead of the fire department after they jump out the window of their burning apartment. As well-equipped as you are, you likely aren’t five minutes away with a high-powered hose.
Lesson Two: Go through their phone contacts with them. If they can’t reach you in the immediate aftermath of that building-on-fire-scenario, after they’ve hopefully dialed 9-1-1 and been rescued by firefighters, they should have a few trusted adults they can call in your stead. Preferably adults who you know to be calm under pressure. An adult in a different time zone is a nice touch, because many emergencies happen when reasonable people are asleep.
Lesson Three: Pat yourself on the back if they’re living on campus. Because the risk of fire is much lower? No, although that’s also true.
Living on campus is an optimal environment for developing friendships, which is the primary task of the first year of college. Simply put, a college student’s friends are their early warning system and their safety net. Your student’s friends are indispensable resources for navigating any crisis.
Living on campus is also very good for sleep. Not your kid’s sleep! No, that’s a disaster. I mean your sleep, parents. Campus residence halls are typically staffed with adults who have the training and experience to handle any number of emergencies, so you won’t have to lie awake wondering if your child will have the presence of mind to call 9-1-1 in a crisis.
If you allow them to live off campus, though, please make sure their apartment has working smoke detectors.
Lesson Four: Purchase the health insurance your child’s college recommends, especially if your child is going to college in another state. Just do it. I know, it sounds a little like I’m shilling for my university, and your insurance may be really good, and your child probably isn’t going to have any medical problems in four years. But four years is a long time to cross your fingers. Health care in this country doesn’t make sense, and I can’t make it make sense. I can tell you to make sure your child has in-state health insurance while they’re at college. Mental health coverage in particular is often quite limited out of state.
Lesson Five: If your child is on prescription medication, they need to practice picking it up from the pharmacy on their own. If they arrive at college never having done this, they are going to run out of their medication. Then they will sprint to their student health clinic in a panic . . . two weeks after they’ve run out. If you haven’t had them pick up their own prescriptions, call them and start now.
Whatever you do, don’t continue picking up their prescriptions in your hometown. One of the biggest joys of sending your child to college is no longer having to run errands for them. (Some types of insurance won’t let you transfer prescriptions out of state, by the way, so, repeating Lesson Four, go ahead and sign on for the health insurance their college recommends.)
Lesson Six: Tell them to avoid energy drinks. Consistent energy comes from staying healthy. Consuming two or more energy drinks in a four-hour period practically guarantees a trip to the emergency room. (Definitely teach them this one if you insist on out-of-state insurance.)
Lesson Seven: Don’t make them major in chemistry. Or in any particular subject really, but this point is mainly about chemistry, or engineering, or math. You can try, but you’re probably just going to end up with them hating chemistry and being mad at you. They’re going to wear you down eventually and switch their major to something like English anyway. By the time they change majors, they will be behind, and so they’ll have to take an extra semester, which will cost extra and result in more arguing with you. All of this sounds very exhausting.
What does chemistry have to do with health and safety, anyway?
Everything. The most important predictor of your young adult’s well-being is the quality of their relationship with you. Don’t ruin it over their choice of major.
Dr. Mathilde Ross is a senior staff psychiatrist with Boston University Student Health Services.