I seem to have been courting trouble with my most recent challenge, which was to find a term for the “maniacs” on mopeds, motorcycles, bikes, e-bikes, scooters, etc., who travel “in the bike lanes, on roads, and even on sidewalks, ignoring everyone and everything.”
Richard Freierman, of Cambridge, while freely acknowledging that this column is meant mainly as entertainment, urged me to spare a thought for the great majority of riders of two-wheeled vehicles who behave responsibly. He wrote: “I hope when you have some fun with this topic you drop in a serious note about sharing our public spaces and trying to not kill each other.” OK, Richard, one and done!
Indeed, the submissions I received were mostly uncomplimentary — for instance, psychocyclists, from Leanne Goldman, of Newton; and psycholists, from Mike Czitrom, of Quincy. Tom Crotty, of Fairhaven, deemed “people who ride their two-wheelers like maniacs” cyclotic.
Jack Tuttle, of Hyde Park, wrote: “Cyclopath covers all of the various individuals on bikes, e-bikes, scooters, etc. who ride aggressively and dangerously. The unsafe collective behaviors exhibited by such riders is described as cyclopathetic (emphasis on the pathetic).” Robert Smith proposed psycho-path-ologists, and Marc McGarry, of Newton, suggested bike-o-paths.
Richard Smith, of Wellesley, wrote: “Having been almost run over by a speeding cyclist while I was trying to read a parking meter in Cambridge in the dark, I’d suggest cyclidiots”; Edith Maxwell, of Amesbury, came up with cyclepidiots; and Walter Zimmerman, of London, Ontario, evidently thinking of electric scooters and e-bikes, proposed eDiots.
Michael McCarron, of West Newbury, argued: “Since the intent of these individuals is to move ahead of everyone on the road, sidewalk, or whatever, my word is passasses or passholes” — the latter, obviously, being Massachusetts-specific.
Scott Ritch proposed: “How about sleazy riders?” Michael Pekowsky, of Brookline, suggested wheelwolves. Jim Needham, of Jupiter, Fla., said he calls such people scoffcycles, and Dave Crowley, of Melrose, suggested scoffwheelers.
Jeff Kaufman, of Needham, reported: “Doctors call someone who rides anything recklessly an organ donor. This is time-honored dark humor among physicians. I did not invent it.” Clearly he didn’t inasmuch as Ed De Vos, of Newton, shared the same anecdote.
Kristina Joyce, of Concord, played around with a term of art, the art in this case being, well, art. She wrote: “I wish to submit horror bike-cui, because I have had many horrible encounters with bikes of various sorts. I am an artist. I know the term horror vacui — horror of vacant spaces in art. Here the horror is filled by the bike.”
Rick Smith, of Wellesley, proposed freewheelers, as did Amy Yatsuhashi, of Reading, who made a case for this term. “The adjective freewheeling refers to having a disregard for rules,” she wrote, “and the noun freewheeler is perfect for those who operate bikes, mopeds, and motorcycles where they shouldn’t. A freewheeler feels free to wheel wherever they want!”
Rick and Amy, that’s a nice one — possibly too nice, but I found Richard Freierman, the defender of bikers, persuasive. “The polarization around bike lanes has reached a fever pitch,” he wrote, “and the level of vitriol directed at your biking neighbors really does have an impact.” Again, OK! I’m conferring bragging rights on Rick and Amy and a good citizen award on Richard.
Now Tom Hayden, of Chelmsford, writes: “Have you ever had a serious itch? You know you shouldn’t rub the area or scratch it; it only makes things worse. But you can’t resist scratching, and it feels soooo good while you’re doing it. How would you describe that feeling of dermal ecstasy?”
Send your ideas for Tom’s word to me at Barbara.Wallraff@globe.com by noon on Friday, Feb. 7, and kindly tell me where you live. Responses may be edited. And please keep in mind that meanings in search of words are always welcome.
Barbara Wallraff is a writer and editor in Cambridge. She writes The Wordshop on Substack.