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Juliet, today 4:02 p.m.
Got potion from friar. Will appear dead. Don’t worry.
Romeo, today 4:05 p.m.
OK, got it. lol
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Robinson Crusoe
Stuck on island. Sending GPS coordinates. Pls charter helicopter.
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Penelope to Odysseus
I need more yarn. How soon will you be home? 🏠 🧶 ⛵️ 🤷♀️ 💋
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Lady Macbeth
Alexa, how to get out spot?
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Icarus
Google search: “how close to sun can I fly before wings melt”
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The Wife of Bath
Pickup location: London
Where to? Canterbury
Uber XL
Pickup time 2 p.m.
Arrival time 3:25 p.m.
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Hercule Poirot
Post on X: How did I identify the murderer? I saw him do it on the nanny cam.
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Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
Google search: “plastic surgeon” “rhinoplasty”
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Hamlet
Hey Siri, to be or not to be? That is the question.
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The Purloined Letter
(Undo Send)
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’Twas the night before Christmas.
’Twas cold, and I shivered.
The Amazon package
Had just been delivered.
Joan Wickersham’s latest book is “No Ship Sets Out To Be A Shipwreck.” She is a contributing Globe Opinion writer.