Miles Howard set out to see what would happen if he tried to bring the rural New England custom of waving to passersby to the bustling streets of Boston. In his Oct. 4 Ideas essay, “I spent two weeks waving at strangers,” he writes about the results of his experiment. The following is an edited sampling of the more than 100 comments readers posted on BostonGlobe.com:
Warmth and connection meet a cold reservedness
I understand the appeal of this essay, but I think it confuses several very different things. There is a difference between being civil and being friendly. There is a difference between refusing to mistreat someone and feeling obligated to offer warmth, cheerfulness, acknowledgment, or social connection simply because politeness is supposed to be a civic virtue.
I have no interest in being uncivil. I am not suggesting hostility, cruelty, harassment, or gratuitous rudeness toward strangers. But I increasingly question why I am supposed to perform friendliness for its own sake.
MBBaer
BostonGlobe.com
Civility entails some recognition that the other person exists.
WBinSomerville
BostonGlobe.com
Hey, you do you, MBBaer. From my experience, however, just having connection with other humans is a positive and not a negative. So a friendly wave or chatting someone up is good for you and the other person.
petergriffith55
BostonGlobe.com
There is a cold reservedness here — funny, since most people here are transplants. But the longer one lives here, the less likely they are to speak to strangers or let down their guard.
stiller
BostonGlobe.com
Let’s hear it from the Midwesterners
I admire Miles Howard’s effort. I moved to Boston from the Midwest 35 years ago. I love the city, but I believe it’s impossible to find a friendly stranger. I don’t think it’s me.
mjp96
BostonGlobe.com
I also moved to Boston from the Midwest several decades ago. I had a tough time finding “friendly strangers” the first year I was here. I mean, there certainly weren’t any welcome wagons for me in Cleveland Circle!
But a year to the day after I moved to Boston, the apartment I just renewed the lease for caught on fire. No one was hurt or killed, but I did lose everything I had (admittedly not much as a starving grad student at the time). I was technically homeless for a few days while I regrouped.
As awful as the fire was, that week ended up being one of the best of my entire life. At the hospital I was working at at the time, dozens of complete strangers donated money, clothes, a spot to crash on their couch, and much-needed moral support. Within a week, I wound up in a better apartment and with some newfound friends to boot.
New Englanders may indeed be harder to get to know than people in other parts of the country, but in terms of what really counts, I enthusiastically embrace the New England way of doing things.
pgerlings
BostonGlobe.com
As a Midwesterner, I would have gone insane had I moved to the Boston suburbs first, since I would have expected waves and baked goods. But the city gave me time to acclimate to glares (like I was an ax murderer) in my workplace when I said good morning.
khall
BostonGlobe.com
That Boston coolness
Growing up just outside of Boston, I always felt that a wave from a stranger or even a casual acquaintance was an intrusion into one’s privacy. Talking to someone in a grocery store line was like an assault. I lived in Boston — no different.
Then I moved to Western Mass. and was introduced to the idea of saying “Good morning” to strangers and sharing chitchat in the grocery store or at the local dump. I moved back to outside of Boston and was reminded of why I left there.
I have since moved to rural Maine, where my wife is from. Total strangers are always willing to exchange a wave and share a story.
When I come back to my old hometown to visit my adult kids and grandchildren, nothing has really changed. Say hi to a stranger and, almost all the time, I get the “What do you want?” look.
Jasper633
BostonGlobe.com
There’s probably something about density and scarcity at play here. The fewer people around, the more rare it is to see another person and thus the more appropriate it may seem to greet.
adamvaccaro
BostonGlobe.com
The Wrangler wave
Used to drive a Jeep Wrangler — the Wrangler wave was standard. Now it seems to have been replaced by dashboard ducks.
99ScienceMatters
BostonGlobe.com
I still drive a Wrangler (two, in fact). The duck fad is fading, the wave goes on.
Myotheralias
BostonGlobe.com
How to meet strangers in New York
In NYC if you ask for directions, people will help you, others will stop, too, and they may all argue about the best way.
dfipps
BostonGlobe.com