‘Twas the Friday before Christmas, and everyone was still shopping,
Santa’s a week behind, because of the bridge almost dropping.
Yes the closure was annoying for every demographic,
But thank God the worst problem was hours of traffic.
The kiddos were in bed, waiting patiently to be tucked,
While all the grownups kept yelling, “PVDFest really sucked!”
Mayor Smiley took some heat, but he shook it off quickly,
Maybe he could teach Dan McKee to be a little less prickly.
When over at the courthouse, hope was fleeting,
That 2024 will be the year Peter Neronha stops tweeting.
The AG is gearing up for his next election,
Even though we have three years to make our selection.
Over on Eaton Street, things were getting unruly
As the Providence College bros started whining about Ed Cooley
When the coach makes his return, it’s OK to boo and hiss,
But if you throw beer on the court, Steve Nap. will be pissed.
Looking back on the last year, I have to admit,
I never thought I’d see David Cicilline calling it quits.
We thank him for his service, and his speeches on the floor,
If his gifts are more generous this season, it’s because the foundation pays way more.
When it comes to the story of the year, it’s not a mystery,
Congrats to Gabe Amo, whose election made Rhode Island history.
He’s first alphabetically, but fourth in the tiny delegation,
Remember whose name comes first on all those shiny citations.
It goes Jack Reed, and then Sheldon, then Congressman Seth,
If you start counting the other Democrats, you’ll run out of breath.
We know that 2024 is another election year,
I’m writing in the young engineer.
As we wrap up, I just want to say,
This was the best year because my son Jack was born in May.
Thank you to all of the readers who make my day bright,
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.
This story first appeared in Rhode Map, our free newsletter about Rhode Island that also contains information about local events, links to interesting stories, and more. If you’d like to receive it via e-mail Monday through Friday, you can sign up here.
Dan McGowan can be reached at dan.mcgowan@globe.com. Follow him @danmcgowan.